“Getting older sucks!”
I hear this a lot from people of all ages—even people who are my age or younger.
My experience has been the opposite. In fact, the older I get, the more my life improves in every meaningful way. I want to share this with you in the hopes that you can draw some inspiration from it if you find yourself dreading the next birthday.
I Have More Self-Assurance
I spent a lot of my 20s and 30s worrying about what other people were thinking about me—in my jobs, my relationships and my athletic endeavors. This preoccupation didn’t always stop me from trying new things, but it made things much more difficult than they needed to be.
I spent way too much time analyzing what I said and what they said, and I dwelled too long on all the scenarios that “might happen.” I really wanted to be liked by everyone.
It was a futile waste of time.
At 44, I can say very confidently I am not that person anymore. It was a gradual shift that started after 35.
Owning a gym business with my husband meant I had to fire staff people. I had to fire members. I had to have difficult conversations regularly, and I simply did not have the time or energy to care about what people were thinking or saying anymore.
This impacted me across the board. I realized that if I lived my life adhering to my core values, took ownership of my mistakes and just did my best, it really did not matter what people thought of me. I had to make difficult decisions and stand up for myself. And sometimes I had to apologize when I was wrong.
My big adult moment happened when I realized that I didn’t need everyone to like me. I didn’t like everyone. As you age, you realize you have to be able to sleep at night, and a big part of that is being able to rest with the decisions you make and the actions you take when you’re awake. They won’t always make everyone happy, but they must make you happy.
I Prioritize Myself
When you are busy trying to make people like you, you don’t set boundaries that allow you to take care of yourself. You say “yes” to everyone and everything because under no circumstances can you disappoint someone. This actually rots relationships and leads to resentment.
I started saying “no,” and things sorted themselves out. People naturally left who weren’t meant to be there, and the ones that stayed are still here.
I actually have more time for myself and the people who really matter now. I can nurture my goals, my business, my family and my friends with a balance that leaves me feeling fulfilled.
And I know that this is a work in progress. Sometimes I mess it up, but I learn from my mistakes and improve.
I Stopped Comparing
I very rarely slip into the comparison trap anymore. If I do, I am quick to turn it around.
There is nothing that will ruin your day faster than feeling jealous or inferior because of something you saw on social media.
I make a point of feeling happy for other people’s success. I try to draw inspiration from it. If I have a tired day and I am struggling to get a workout in, I look at other strong women doing awesome things online, and I hustle into the gym ready to rock. If I see a female entrepreneur crushing it, I think, “Wow! Maybe I could start something cool like that. Good for her!”
Feeling happy for other people fills me up and gives me energy. Celebrating their success with them says nothing about my success. But feeling jealous or insecure says a lot about my character. And at 44, I know who I want to be now.
I feel lucky to work with and be friends with women who are older than I am. They are leading from the front and showing the next generation what is possible as we age—including me.
I’m not afraid of growing older. I’m leaning into it, and I’m certain that there are many more awesome juicy days and years ahead of me. And I’m planning on squeezing the juice out of each any every one of them.
I hope you do the same thing!